It's a lot of children...sort of

Most of the time it seems normal that we have five children. But every now and then it catches me by surprise. Like the other day--I walked into the bathroom and Anna had lined up all 5 of their stools side by side so she could do the name puzzles. Seeing all 5 beside each other in a row made it seem like a lot, which made me think about 2 realizations I've come to now that we have what most people consider a large family.

1. It was hard when we only had one or two children. I have friends and family who sometimes comment on how they shouldn't feel like what they're doing is difficult because they only have one or two kids. But we thought it was hard when we only had one or two!

I remember especially thinking it was difficult to learn to divide my attention and time when we had our second. When you have one or two children, they expect you to be the one to play with then constantly. And that's a difficult job! With multiple siblings, some of that is spread out and mommy isn't the sole entertainer.

When you only have one or two children, it's also easy for the entire schedule to be based off their needs or wants, making it feel like you're constantly accommodating the child. That's natural because they're the only one; its logical to base the schedule off of them. With more children in the home, the schedule has to be a little more flexible to accommodate everyone.

Having your first baby turns your life upside down. Our life schedule has been in kid mode for 7 years now, so adding more children to that schedule is not as disruptive as it was when we had one or two. There's definitely a learning curve with first children and as first time parents. Some things are easier now that we've done them a few times. When we had our first, I could not have imagined having 5 children. God grew our family gradually to get to this point; we didn't jump into 5 children.

2. I've discovered what I call the "group mentality" of large families. When people see our family, they see a large group of children. It seems overwhelming to think of a group of kids.

But I rarely see them as a big group. I see them individually with their personalities, needs, quirks, likes and dislikes. I see them as unique people and can't imagine our family without one of them. Occasionally the group mentality does occur, mainly at meal times, bed times, and getting in the car. And those are the times it seems most overwhelming. During those times I have to remind myself to focus on one child at a time, see what he/she individually needs, and keep going. I catch myself thinking with the group mentality when I see other large families still, and I try to remind myself that that is not how their family sees them.

I am not saying we have it all figured out and that it's not crazy sometimes. There are definitely moments (sometimes hours) that I feel like I need at least three if myself to get through. But it's not as out of control as I would have imagined.