Obedient Food Choices

I feel like the Lord has been working on the area of food and nutrition with me a lot in the past few months. A lot of it started out of my own complaining and whining about not losing the baby weight after having twins. God started convicting me about my attitudes and thought processes regarding the weight and my body and my health. Was I trying to eat healthier only for the reward of losing weight?

I felt like he told me very clearly to make healthy choices out of obedience to Him, regardless of the results. And that is what I'm trying to do and He is allowing this to be a struggle for me because for 6 months I have had no results. Regardless of what I eat or don't eat or how much I exercise, not one of those remaining 15 pounds has gone away. To say that I am frustrated is an understatement. But I keep pressing on, allowing Him to refine my thoughts and attitudes and trying to make healthy choices out of obedience.

A big part of this for me has been drinking Coke. I really like it. I had gotten to the point where I drank it every day. I became addicted to it. I rationalized it saying that since I don't drink coffee, this was my way of having some caffeine each day. And what mama of 5 kids doesn't need some caffeine???

But I realized that I was using it as more of an escape and coping mechanism, and turning to it when I felt overwhelmed and tired and should turn to God instead. This became very clear when I bought a 1.25 L of coke at the grocery store and drank the entire thing in one afternoon. I then tried to hide the bottle in the recycling so Jay wouldn't see it and know that I had drank that much at once. I found myself planning which errands to drive to based on where I could go through a drive-thru and get a coke. I was having a hard time showing self-control.

At this point, I knew God was asking me to give it up. I've had to do this before. Last year I gave it up from August until October. I know what it means to detox myself from it. I actually do crave it and think about it for days and days, sometimes weeks. I started the process at the beginning of June. I allowed myself one a week for June and then none in July. I have managed to make it through all of July without any at all. Now it is August, and I'm contemplating if I can go back to having one a week?? or should I still completely avoid it?? What if he's asking me to give it up forever?

During all of this process, God also started to convict me about food choices for our family. I buy the groceries, I cook 99% of the meals, I am feeding 6 other people. That's a big responsibility. To encourage me in this area a few months ago, I signed up for an online meal planning site called The Fresh 20 (www.thefresh20.com)  They send you a meal plan each week for 5 meals that are based off of 20 fresh ingredients. It even includes the shopping list and prep work for each meal that you can do ahead of time. This has challenged me to try cooking new dishes, and challenged all of us to eat new foods. Let's just say that I wasn't routinely cooking salmon and lentils very much before. I've been pleasantly surprised at encouraged at how much the kids have eaten of these meals, and Jay loves them. I also really appreciate someone doing the meal planning and making the shopping list for me!

At a class I went to a few weeks ago, the lady teaching it (Sera Johnson, at www.choosinghealthylife.wordpress.com) talked about God convicting her about similar issues of food choices for her family. She discussed Proverbs 22:6 which says "Train up a child in the way He should go..." and challenged me to think about what habits I am teaching and training my children with now that may be hard for them to break later. Am I teaching them to make healthy, wise choices; to choose LIFE in what they eat?

She also discussed Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight." Am I trusting God with my food choices? Am I acknowledging Him as the creator of all good things on earth, including the healthy food He gives us?

Sera has 4 small children and when she started making changes, her kids were very picky eaters. She was scared they would starve if she got rid of the mac n cheese and frozen pizzas. She gave us six tips to help picky eaters love God's good food:

1. Get the junk out of the house. if I don’t bring it in the house, they can’t eat it.
2. Have kids make a list of good foods they do like (especially fruits and veggies).
3. Make sure the kitchen is stocked with what they will eat.
4. Try one new thing at each meal and keep trying them. Change the atmosphere at the meal from pressure  and punishment to praise. Praise them for trying it/licking it/tasting it. They don’t have to love it, just try it and tolerate it.
5. Make healthy versions of their favorite unhealthy foods (pizza, chicken strips, etc)
6. Speak positive affirmation at the dinner table. Speak life. Pray “Lord, thank you for your good food and for helping me to love your good food.” Also have them help you cook and teach them how food affects their bodies.

I thought these were great suggestions, and I have been trying some with Anna. She's currently our pickiest eater and often tells me she doesn't like what I've cooked for dinner before I ever put her plate on the table. Extremely frustrating!! But I've been encouraging her to just try one bite of each new food and telling her that it's okay if she doesn't like it; I just want her to taste it. Most of the time she declares she still doesn't like it, but one night she found that she did like the chicken I cooked and proceeded to eat three pieces! This was huge considering she rarely eats any meat!!

(For any homeschool mamas out there, she has a great homeschool curriculum called Nutrition 101 which teaches anatomy, physiology and how nutrition affects them.)

The verse that God has given me to memorize during this process is 2 Corinthians 6: 16 and 7:1 

"For we are the temple of the living God...Since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God."

I am very much still a work in progress in this area, but I'm hoping to make small, sustainable steps in the right direction, out of obedience and reverence for God.

Meeting the newest little Furman baby

My college roommates and I all spent the day together on Wednesday so that we can meet the newest little Furman baby. Marianne had sweet baby JB 10 weeks ago. He is such a cute little guy and tolerated all the craziness of the rest of the group well.

Nothing like having 10 kids (including 4 one year olds) hanging out all day. The babies played well inside most of the time and we put the big kids outside with some water. They were all busy and happy!

I'm glad we all live close enough to make a day trip and be together and that our children can know each other too. These are special ladies to me! So very thankful for them.

Disclaimer: a Slice of Life

Somehow we have managed to have five children dressed in coordinating, cute clothes the past two Sundays in a row. And made it to church early (8:30am) that's pretty much a miracle that required hours of preparation.

But please don't look at them or me or jay and think "wow, they've got this all together." We don't. We struggle with lots of parenting issues and marriage decisions and the monotony of laundry, dishes, and shoes piled by the door. We crave sleep and vacation and quiet and naps. We lose our patience with kids, each other, and ourselves. We desperately need Jesus to do this.

I usually just post all of the great things on the blog about our family life. Cute pictures, fun events, funny stories, etc. please don't read those and think that it's a full picture of our life. It's just the slice you get to view. There's plenty more and I struggle with the balance of how much is appropriate to share publicly --it's not really appropriate to put all of our private lives out there. But by only posting the good and cute things, I don't want anyone else to think that's all there is to our life.

So just remember that this is just a slice of our life. You're welcome to come on over if you want the whole pie.

you don't want pictures

I have no exciting pictures from this week. If I had taken pictures of things in our home this week, you wouldn't have wanted to see them. Our house has been hit hard by the stomach virus. It is going around our town like wildfire. I seriously think people are getting it just from reading friends' facebook status updates or driving past a group of children while in their car. It's crazy. Here's a brief synopsis of our last few days:

Saturday: While having friends (who do not have children) over for dinner, Will gets sick. I'll spare you the details but it was terrible. We had to ask our guests to leave. And it continued to be terrible every 20-30 minutes for the next 5 hours. Catherine hyperventilated and made herself sick by being anxious that she might get sick during the night.  I "slept" in the hallway upstairs most of the night to help Will and be close by in case anyone got sick.

Sunday: We spent the morning staring anxiously at each other and wondering who was next. Will, however, jumped out of bed at 7am and was quite chipper all day. I was a bit tired from being up with him all night. How was he not tired?? By Sunday afternoon, both babies were having bad diapers. Catherine declared that she didn't feel good and spent the afternoon in bed. By that night, she was sick. Thankfully her sickness wasn't quite as traumatic as Will's.

Monday: We all stayed home and I changed the babies' diapers ....a lot. Poor babies. I was scheduled to teach something in Catherine's class at school, so Mimi came over to watch everyone while I was gone for an hour. Catherine and Will were much improved; babies not so much; Anna was totally oblivious to it all.

Tuesday: Babies had a really rough day. By 11am, I had given James three baths and changed his clothes and all his bedding twice. Elizabeth was doing only slightly better. Thankfully the big kids were feeling better, but were now being clingy and demanding because all Mommy had been doing for three days is cleaning up after sick people. By 1pm, I put them in the car and drove to Zaxbys to get myself something to eat and a sweet tea. Will declared that it wasn't fair, but too bad. We drove around for 15 minutes just to see the sunshine and get out of the house. I just cleaned the babies up, again, once we got back home. On Tuesday night, we went to Mimi and PopPop's house for dinner, although we were still all a little scared to eat.

Wednesday: Mimi calls at 7am to say that she has been up sick all night. Uh oh. I'm still paranoid and can't tell if my stomach hurts because it's sick or because I've barely eaten in almost 4 days. I'm surviving on protein granola bars and goldfish crackers, just to be safe. Big kids are all fine, but the babies still have upset tummies. By the afternoon Elizabeth made it a few hours without a blowout and James was slowly improving. By 4pm, Jay was home because he was getting sick. He's now downstairs suffering through it.

Please add into each of these days the following phrases: "do laundry", "do more laundry", "clean bathrooms", "clean bathrooms again", "change sheets", "wash bedding", etc...

Somehow, so far I've avoided it. I have no idea. Only by the grace of God because I don't know who would be taking care of these people otherwise. And Anna, we aren't sure if she has avoided it or if she started it. She had an upset tummy last Thursday.....we didn't think much about it at the time because she never complained about feeling bad, but now it seems a likely culprit. It would be very Anna-like to be sick and not actually let us know she felt bad at all.

Sorry for the gross post. I know many of my friends are reading this in complete understanding because it also tells the story of their week. I'm not listing these things out to complain or whine. It's just normal life, especially when there are lots of small children in the house. I'm thankful that it hasn't been any worse and that I have been able to take care of all of them.

But I'll spare you any pictures from our house this week. Maybe next week.

Working on chores

We have always expected our kids to help around the house. Sometimes we've referred to them as "chores" but usually we just asked them to help on an as-needed basis. Catherine, our type A first child, has occasionally made herself chore charts and rewarded herself with stickers. I've never been consistent with that so she has done it for herself and her siblings when she felt motivated. Once when I asked her to make her bed, she whined "I could do it so much better if you just made me a chart!"

I started to notice a few months ago though that Catherine and Will do much better if they know ahead of time what is expected of them with chores and if I give them some freedom as to when they get those tasks completed. I tend to just notice what needs to be done right that minute and expect them to immediately cooperate. So I started thinking of a way to make this work best for us at this stage of life, to train and not exasperate them, to encourage their helpfulness.

I came across this idea, or something similar to it, on Pinterest. I got some foam door hangers and wooden clothes pins from The Dollar Tree (total investment of $3 for a 3-pack of door hangers and 2 packs of clothespins). The kids wrote their names at the top and we divided it down the middle with a "to do" section on the left and "done" on the right. Then I wrote various chores on the clothes pins, such as laundry, set table, bathrooms, books, toys, shoes, stairs, and trash. The kids and I have talked about what these mean, so they know that if I put "shoes" on their chart that they need to collect all their shoes from beside the front door and put them away.

This system allows me to pick out 2-4 chores that need to be completed each afternoon for each child. Not every day is the same. I tend to let the folded laundry stack up for a few days and then they all get the laundry chore. I rotate who takes out the trash, sets the table, and clears the extra dishes from dinner (everyone clears their own plates).

I usually assign the chores by 2-3pm and I encourage them to complete them before dinner time if possible. They are very good at encouraging and helping each other and it usually takes about 30 mins to get their chores completed.

Sometimes they even decide to do extra chores on their own. Yesterday Catherine swept out and organized the entire garage without me asking. Anna has become quite proficient at setting the table. Last night she set the table for 7 (Mimi and Poppop were coming over) and even included Easter eggs for decorations at each napkin. I was impressed!

Catherine did still make some kind of chart on the refrigerator and they've been rewarding themselves with tally marks for each chore they complete. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with those tally marks. Maybe she will tell me when they reach a certain goal or something!

Mostly I want them to contribute to the work of our family, cheerfully and responsibly. I'm sure this will be an ongoing and changing process of training over the years, but for right now it's working for us.

It's a lot of children...sort of

Most of the time it seems normal that we have five children. But every now and then it catches me by surprise. Like the other day--I walked into the bathroom and Anna had lined up all 5 of their stools side by side so she could do the name puzzles. Seeing all 5 beside each other in a row made it seem like a lot, which made me think about 2 realizations I've come to now that we have what most people consider a large family.

1. It was hard when we only had one or two children. I have friends and family who sometimes comment on how they shouldn't feel like what they're doing is difficult because they only have one or two kids. But we thought it was hard when we only had one or two!

I remember especially thinking it was difficult to learn to divide my attention and time when we had our second. When you have one or two children, they expect you to be the one to play with then constantly. And that's a difficult job! With multiple siblings, some of that is spread out and mommy isn't the sole entertainer.

When you only have one or two children, it's also easy for the entire schedule to be based off their needs or wants, making it feel like you're constantly accommodating the child. That's natural because they're the only one; its logical to base the schedule off of them. With more children in the home, the schedule has to be a little more flexible to accommodate everyone.

Having your first baby turns your life upside down. Our life schedule has been in kid mode for 7 years now, so adding more children to that schedule is not as disruptive as it was when we had one or two. There's definitely a learning curve with first children and as first time parents. Some things are easier now that we've done them a few times. When we had our first, I could not have imagined having 5 children. God grew our family gradually to get to this point; we didn't jump into 5 children.

2. I've discovered what I call the "group mentality" of large families. When people see our family, they see a large group of children. It seems overwhelming to think of a group of kids.

But I rarely see them as a big group. I see them individually with their personalities, needs, quirks, likes and dislikes. I see them as unique people and can't imagine our family without one of them. Occasionally the group mentality does occur, mainly at meal times, bed times, and getting in the car. And those are the times it seems most overwhelming. During those times I have to remind myself to focus on one child at a time, see what he/she individually needs, and keep going. I catch myself thinking with the group mentality when I see other large families still, and I try to remind myself that that is not how their family sees them.

I am not saying we have it all figured out and that it's not crazy sometimes. There are definitely moments (sometimes hours) that I feel like I need at least three if myself to get through. But it's not as out of control as I would have imagined.

Just take a min

New running shoes
Beautiful weather
Time to run downtown
By myself
A chance to breathe
My husband knew I needed it
It's hard to step out of the craziness
He had to push me out the door
He's pretty awesome

The Great School Debate

Long before Jay and I had children, we discussed/debated/argued about what we would do for school. We both grew up attending public schools (although there weren't really other options in either of our hometowns). I taught in a private school and enjoyed a lot of the advantages that had to offer though. I also feel more of the need to shelter and protect and keep them close, while Jay is more open to worldly exposure and failures so that we can teach and guide them through that while they are still home with us. I think both sides of this argument have very legitimate concerns and issues and we both kept arguing for our side for years. 

Catherine attended a private church-based preschool and we did keep her there for kindergarten. After exploring many options for "big school" and lots of prayer, we felt like God was confirming that we should enroll her in our public school. She is adjusting well. It was a little overwhelming to go from a small preschool to a large school of 800+ students. And this is a new experience for our family, so we're figuring it out as we go. I think Catherine gets frustrated if we don't know how certain things work at school because a lot of kids in her class have older siblings there and already know the routine. But she's our oldest and gets to be our guinea pig :) By the time James and Elizabeth get there, we'll have this all figured out!

One thing that has been helpful is the Learning Community classroom. There is a 1st-5th grade group of classes that can move the students for math and reading based on the skill level. They evaluate this for different units and at different times of the year based on teacher observation and testing. Catherine is currently in the 2nd grade reading class and that has brought an extra challenge for her that is encouraging. Her first grade teacher is also fantastic and allows the children a lot of flexibility and opportunities for learning based on their individual styles and personalities.

The sweet child's least favorite subject is P.E. She is her mama's child. She cries most Weds nights and Thurs mornings because she is terrified her PE teacher will give her a test and she might not be able to catch the ball or something. It's her greatest area of weakness at school. Hey, you can't be good at everything, right?

I still have moments (or days) when I want to keep her home, shelter her more. It's hard for me every time I drop her off to watch her walk into school. That's our little girl, and she seems vulnerable to walk into that big building by herself. But I have to be careful not to project my fears and insecurities onto her. To keep her here would ultimately be because of my needs, not necessarily what is best for her. I it's a little step of letting go and trusting God. She is his daughter more than mine and I have to trust that He knows what is best for her. I'm also trusting in Jay's leadership in this area and I respect his decisions and wisdom immensely. 

Here are a few cute pics from the school carnival. It was about a month ago but I forgot to post them.

Her anticipation of the carnival night was intense. About like waiting for Christmas morning.

It's exciting to watch her grow up and learn new things. We are very proud of Catherine!

Out to dinner

Last night Jay had some late afternoon meetings in Charlotte and wasn't going to be home until 8pm or so. That meant I was on my own with all five for dinner, bath, and bedtime. I decided to take them all out to dinner--by myself--so that they wouldn't be weepy about Jay not being here for dinner and I wouldn't have to clean up the kitchen.

I was a little fearful that the babies would both be crying and someone would spill a drink and someone else would need to go to the bathroom and someone else would complain about their dinner. That's how it has been some nights lately at home.

In order to make this a successful outing I did a couple of things:
1. I gave them a choice about where we were going to eat (at home being one of them). I also only gave options that I knew I could manage. So even though it was spirit night at chickfila for Catherine's school I did not make that option to dine in, only drive thru. I know my limits people. They picked to eat at schlotzskys.
2. We practiced what was going to happen and what I expected from them. This includes getting on shoes and going potty before we left the house. This also includes deciding in the car what they wanted to order so that I wasn't standing there trying to figure that out with 3 kids telling me various things while people impatiently wait behind us. (turns out I need to decide ahead of time because I'm the one who stood there the longest to order!)
3. I gave them very specific instructions about when to get out of the car, whose hand to hold, which white line to stand on, who should hold open which restaurant door , etc. and I told them they were responsible for keeping each other safe. Will especially likes this role of protecting his sisters.
4. We practiced our table manners of sitting and using napkins and taking turns and being patient.
5. I highly praised them for their good behavior and obedience. I told them when they behaved so well and were obedient it made me want to take them places more often. So they suggested we go out every night:)

We had a lot of people stop and comment on how many kids I have and how well they were behaving. I thought about it a lot after we left the restaurant. I don't want to be prideful that they did so well. Goodness knows that they have many nights that aren't this way.

But I do want them to be an example to others that children are a blessing. So many people look at us with some weird pity because of the work and responsibility and chaos of having five little ones. And it's true that it is a lot of work. But there's also a whole lot of joy. And if someone can catch a glimpse of that through well behaved children and a mama who truly enjoys them at a restaurant, maybe it will soften their hearts a tiny bit.

A little grooming

On Saturday I gave jay and will haircuts. They both just get it buzzed so that wasn't too hard (although I was a little nervous). Will volunteered Jay to go first :)

Then Catherine asked me to cut her hair. I was just planning to barely trim the ends but she asked me to cut i it short. After a few cuts that were a little shorter than I anticipated I realized we were committed. But I think her new short hair looks really cute and she loves it.

After giving Anna a little trim and then cutting 30 fingernails and 30 toenails I called it a day.

Praying for our children

I desire to pray for our children daily, to intercede on their behalf, pray for their salvation, pray for patenting wisdom, and thank our God for his gift of these sweet ones to our family.

But I often struggle to find time or remember to do it. I was trying to think of something I do every day that I could pray simultaneously. I decided that since I spend a good bit of time nursing babies that this would be a great prayer time.

To help me know what to pray for our children and how to pray for them, I've been using the book "Praying the Scriptures for your Children" by Berndt. This was a gift from our church's childrens ministry after the babies were born. I have really enjoyed using scripture to pray specifics for them.

A friend also just gave us Key Chain Verses as a gift. It is a set of about 30 verses that are personalized for James and Elizabeth. I keep one by the chair in the nursery and I plan to put the other in the car. It's great to just pick it up and pray through a few verses at a time. (If you're interested you can check them out at www.keychainverses.com). You could also make something similar pretty easily if there are specific verses or passages you want to memorize or pray with your children.

"This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14

Sleep and Slumber: The First 3 months

The other night, James and Elizabeth slept from 8pm to 5:30am. I then fed them and they went back to sleep until I woke them up at 8:30am. Whohoo! I felt like a new woman to get a long stretch of uninterrupted sleep.

After now helping five babies learn to sleep I've learned a few things. With our first baby, I felt very overwhelmed about teaching a baby how to sleep at night and for naps. I know people have very different opinions on this topic. Some are strict schedule and Baby Wise followers; others prefer attachment parenting and on-demand nursing, the Baby Whisperer also has good advice. Some people co-sleep with their baby for the first few years. Others put the baby in their crib from the first night home from the hospital.  I'm just going to tell you what has worked best for us, what I like to call flexible scheduling. Maybe there's something there that can be helpful or useful to you.

I like to have a goal or target issue to work on for 1 to 2 weeks at a time during the first three months. Here's my approach:

• Weeks 1 and 2 Goal: Establish day vs. night and feeding routine

During those first few days and nights at home, the goal is survival. To me that means sleep whenever and however you can. This is really more important for mama than baby. You have just been through pregnancy and delivery and you need to rest. For me, that means if baby will sleep I am happy.

I try to start with my ideal sleeping situation (baby swaddled in the crib) but that doesn't always work. So some nights the baby may sleep in a swing or a bouncy seat or with me or Jay holding the baby. I am more apt to do those things at night to get baby to sleep at night than during the day. During the day, if baby will sleep that's great but I'm okay with him being more easily disturbed and woken. I think it helps establish the day vs night. At the same time, if grandma is there and wants to hold that sweet baby for 3 straight hours one afternoon so you can take a nap, go for it!

Nursing babies generally eat every 2 to 3 hours during those first few weeks, so even with good sleep patterns at this point you are still getting up frequently. During the night, just try to keep the lights dim and be quiet to signal that these feedings are different than during the day. During the day, open the shades, play music, sing and talk to your baby, etc to let baby know this is awake time. Some babies catch on to the day and night differences easier than others, so just be patient if you have a night owl. If you can keep baby awake and stimulated during the day, it generally won't take more than a week or two to get this part figured out.

• Weeks 3 and 4 Goal: Longer stretches of sleep and location of sleep

Once baby has day and night figured out, the goal is to start getting some longer stretches of sleep at night in a crib/bassinet. Most babies will have a 3-4, maybe even 5 hour stretch of sleep at some point in a 24 hour cycle. You want this to be at night, preferably while you are sleeping. If baby's long stretch is from 8pm-12am but you didn't go to sleep until 11pm that's not as helpful as if baby sleeps from 12am-4am straight through.

I tend to cluster feed in the early evening to make sure baby is very full, so even if I have done 3 hour feeding stretches during the day I generally do a 6pm, 8pm, 10pm feeding. After the 10pm feeding, I start some form of a bedtime routine and put baby to bed (diaper change, lights out, swaddle, rub her back or rock for 10-15 mins, etc). The goal is to start something consistent to signal that it is bedtime. At this point if baby cries when I put him down, I am generally okay with 15-30 mins of fussing. If he is still fussing at that point, I will rock or hold the baby for about 5 more mins and try to lay him down again. Sometimes I may go through this cycle for an hour or more before he falls truly asleep. Just be patient. The goal is to get the baby to sleep somewhere other than your arms all night. Depending on the baby, I have also put some of mine on their tummy to sleep at this point. I know all of the SID warnings. I do try it out for naps during the day for a few days to make sure they can turn their head and aren't face-planting into the mattress. If they have pretty good head control, I usually put them on their tummies. They sleep soooo much better this way.

• Weeks 5 thru 8 Goal: Continue to stretch out sleep and go to bed earlier

For some people, having a bed time of 10-11pm for baby is perfectly fine. I, however, am exhausted by 8-9pm especially after taking care of other children during the day also. So now that baby knows what bed time is and can sleep in his/her bed, I start to gradually back up bed time. Instead of 10pm, I start putting him down at 9:30. After a few days of that I back it up to 9pm. By the next week I try 8 or 8:30.

Babies usually need an 11-13 hour stretch of sleep so what time you put baby to bed may depend on what time you want baby to wake up for the day. Currently I need James and Elizabeth up by 7:30-8am each morning so I can take other kids to school, so my goal is to have them in bed between 7:30-8pm at night. Our first baby wanted to go to bed at 6:30pm because she liked to get up at 6:30am (I wish it hadn't been that early). Our other two were more 8:30--8:30 sleepers. But try to get about a 12 hour stretch. The baby will most likely still need to eat during those 12 hours, so I sometimes go up around 10ish and do a "dreamfeed"--feed the baby without completely waking her up. After that they can generally go a 5-6 hour stretch, so maybe they get back up at 3 or 4 am to eat, and then wake up for the day at 7:30-8am.

• Weeks 8 thru 12 Goal: Longer stretches of sleep and more consistent naps

Now that the baby is more consistent with night sleeping and feeding, the day time naps start to fall into a more consistent pattern. At this point, most babies are on the 1 1/2--2 hour pattern. By this I mean that they generally wake up ready to eat and are awake for 1 1/2-2 hours before they get sleepy again. I have to remember to look at the clock sometimes. I'll wonder why the sweet one is fussing for no apparent reason and then I realize, oh it's been almost 2 hours since she got up. Lay the sweet baby down and she goes right to sleep (not always, but usually within 10-15 mins). If I wait until the baby is too fussy and overly tired, it is much harder for him to peacefully fall asleep.

I generally start with 3 naps a day (one morning, one after lunch, one late afternoon) until I can stretch out the time between the morning and afternoon naps and transition to only 2 naps a day. This is usually around months 4 to 5 and I keep that schedule until they're 12-18 months and ready for one nap a day. Some babies are okay with being in carseats for a nap while you run errands, but I usually find that by 3 months they really need to be at home in their crib for consistent nap times. Yes, this greatly limits my ability to run errands or go anywhere for those first few months but it's worth it to me to not have overly tired and cranky babies.

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Okay, so there's my general synopsis of teaching a baby to sleep. Please keep in mind that this is just a general guideline. A few important things to remember are 

1.  be patient--with yourself and with baby. both of you are learning as you go. Will there be days when the baby is extra cranky from getting shots or out of routine because you're on vacation or falls asleep in the car before you get home? yes. just try to be flexible and adjust the rest of the day as necessary. it's just one day. You can try to get back on schedule the next day. 

2. be consistent. someone once told me "begin as you wish to continue"--meaning, if you don't want baby sleeping in your bed at age 1 or 2, don't really start the habit when they're born. or if you want them to nap in their cribs, start naps there. Or conversely, if you really need baby to take naps in her carseat while you sit in the carline, then make that part of your routine. 

3. treat each baby as an individual. I especially like to consult The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg for figuring out baby's personality. For example, little James falls in her "touchy/sensitive" category and during those first few weeks really needed the extra swaddling and hugging and rocking and nursing. Elizabeth is more "textbook" and can really follow the general guidelines a little easier.  Just reminding myself of this helped me bond with them individually when I was frustrated that they weren't doing the same thing. 

Babies are pretty adaptable so really you just have to figure out what works for you and your family. Good luck and enjoy those sweet ones!

2 months

James and Elizabeth celebrated their 2 month birthday on Wednesday (and nine weeks today). Wow! It's been a really fast two months. I can't believe how much they're growing. Just look at those chubby cheeks, especially on James. I'm pretty sure he weighs more than Elizabeth now. And they're smiling and laughing and making little baby coos. So sweet it melts my heart every time. I know they are our 4th and 5th children, but it is just as magical to see them smile and grow as it was with our others. And since there are two of them, I get double the smiles these days. (We'll pretend like I don't get double the cries or diapers for a few minutes!) We are absolutely in love with these great little people. I can't believe how blessed I am to be their mom.

Post Baby Body Struggle

Let me start by saying I love my children. I love that I have been able to be pregnant and physically carry them and birth them and nurse them. I wouldn't trade that for anything. It truly has been my lifelong dream. I realize that there are women who would love to have that opportunity and haven't been able to be pregnant.

I am, however, in the 8-week postpartum "so this is what happened to my body?" phase. It's rough.  It's something I struggle with. I think most women struggle with their weight and body image, regardless of pregnancy and childbirth. And then you throw in stretch marks, pregnancy weight gain, and other physical changes and it is very easy to focus on that.

I have struggled with this really since my first pregnancy. Prior to that, I had been skinny my whole life. You know, that kind of girl who could eat anything she wanted and still weigh 110 lbs. That was me. Sadly, I took pride in that. It was part of my identity. Who I was. And then God started giving us children and that is no longer me. In my mind I like to think I'm still that skinny girl who can eat whatever she wants but that's not true.

I've tried for the past few years to "be really good"--you know exercise more, eat healthier, things like that. But I keep coming back to the same struggle with food and my weight and my appearance. Because really the behaviors aren't the issue. It's my heart.  Why do I want the baby weight gone? Is it so I can still find my identity as that skinny girl? So people will be impressed with how quickly I lost the baby weight? So I can be prideful about it? So I don't have to show self control in this area of my life?

Or do I want it so that I can be strong and healthy to care for my family? To treat my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit? to be prepared to do the good works God has for me to do? I've been memorizing 2 Timothy 2: 20-21, praying that God will change the motives of my heart. That I will desire to be an instrument of special use, made holy, useful to Him, and ready to do his good works. That's what I should desire with my body.

That's the only thing that is going to create a change in my behaviors and choices in this area. And maybe with that I'll lose the baby weight and look more like I used to. Maybe I won't. I'd like to say that it doesn't matter, but I'm not there yet. God is still working on me. Still sanctifying me and teaching me to honor Him with my body. I was bought at a price, after all. My body is not my own. 

Here are some resources and encouragement in this area:

This book, Every Body Matters, by Gary Thomas is the best I have read about our heart and motives for caring for our body. I highly recommend it.

Here's a link to a blog post that is one of the most honest and real and truthful expressions I've seen about this struggle: Part 1 and Part 2

And here's my friend Brooke's perspective on the aftermath of 8 babies

I hope that this may encourage you on a topic that can be difficult for so many women. It truly is worth it to have these precious babies and allow God to use the body He created and gave me. And I'm pretty sure He's going to give moms really awesome bodies in heaven!

What's it like? How are you? and more questions answered

People are constantly asking me what it's like to have twins (and 3 other young children). How am I? Are they sleeping? Am I nursing? How are the big kids handling it? How's Jay? and more questions. So here are a few answers from our first month:

Overall, it is good. Really good. We love these two little ones so much and can't imagine not having them here with us. I feel immensely blessed when I look at them. At the same time, it is challenging. It's a lot of work to have 5 small children. There are lots of diapers, dishes, and laundry. Lots of "mommy, watch this" and "mommy, where are you?" and "mommy....mommy....mommy" And two of them can't even talk yet! 

There are times when both babies are sleeping peacefully and the big kids are playing well together and I think "This isn't hard at all." And then about 20 mins later, both babies are crying and want to be fed, the big kids are screaming and hitting each other, the dog needs to go out the bathroom, the phone is ringing, someone spills a drink on the floor, someone needs help wiping in the bathroom, and someone else wants me to watch their newest acrobatic skill of jumping on my bed while I nurse. Then I think "oh my goodness. I can't do this. I may lose my mind." So there's some of both. In the crazy moments, I try to tell myself that within 20-30 mins it will probably be calm(er) again.

The babies are eating and sleeping well. They eat about every 3 hours during the day and 4-4 1/2 hours at night. I am nursing both of them and that is going well. My supply seems lowest at the end of the day so I've been taking Fenugreek (herbal supplement) this week and that seems to be helping. I would like to hold off on giving them formula for as long as possible. 

They are gaining weight well. James weighed 9lbs 6oz and Elizabeth weighed 9lbs 8oz today at their dr's checkup. He's catching up with her! They generally go to bed around 10 at night, get up around 2ish to eat, and then wake up again around 6ish in the morning. They have gotten much better this week about going right back to sleep after eating during the night, which is super helpful.

They both had their first baths a week or two ago. 

Here's little James

and my bath helpers

Here's Elizabeth getting all cleaned up

 They also had their first play date. Jill brought Wyatt over and Sara brought Sophie one morning so we could all visit. It was a morning of nursing and diaper blow outs and fun conversation.

 Jay is doing well. He says it is going better than he had expected, but I think he really enjoys his quiet times in his office during the day too :) He is very appreciative that I can walk again and am getting back to my normal self.

 I made our first big outing with all 5 this week. I took them to Anderson to play at the Cothran's for Eddie's 5th birthday. Lots of fun and birthday cake and art projects and silliness. It was really good for the big kids to have a day somewhere else. Overall they are doing well, but are a little stir crazy from being home so much this summer.

 Here's the birthday cake (that Julia ate before it was time for cake!)

Happy one month sweet babies!! We love you so much and are excited to keep watching you grow!